Since I know everyone and everything that can blog on this planet (Dog with a Blog) is talking about the newly crowned Stanley Cup Champions the Chicago Blackhawks, I don't particularly want to. I mean, I could spend about a page and a half explaining how a few lucky bounces and an expertly lucky play got the Blackhawks those two goals in 17 seconds, and essentially the Cup. I could write three paragraphs on a psychological analysis of Tuukka Rask and how he breaks down and dies a little bit in between goals...obviously. I mean, we all expected a milk crate, right? Or, like a WWE Smackdown match between him and Crawford in the handshake line?
Regardless, the shortened 2012-2013 NHL season is done, and now in the off-season the fan masses will be bored to tears with various stories and articles about nothing in particular. So I figured why not kick it off early?
So while I was busy being a bored part of the fan mass, I browsed Twitter all day before work, and came across some curious findings, and I thought I'd share to entertain.
First and foremost, the Philadelphia Flyers. Not the actual @NHLFlyers, but the various twitter accounts related to it.
#1: Zac Rinaldo, Left Winger for the Flyers and apparently also named Kanye West. Maybe his middle name is North....
But the cool thing is who he follows. Just look at this list: 
I mean, look at this. Tebow! He follows Tim Tebow and Kim Kardashian! Like, why? Doesn't matter. It just made him cooler.
Now, moving away from the Flyers. They may be the teenage girls of the NHL, but no need to pick on them. These next two were recommended to me by my wonderful editor, who thinks that finding funny things on twitter is his job. Regardless, these are worth the follow:
#4: Condescending Torts, a hilarious parody account of John Tortorella. His name changes every once in a while, now Riot Maker Torts. Subtly suggesting the rioting that will happen in Vancouver on his recent hire there.
Regardless, the shortened 2012-2013 NHL season is done, and now in the off-season the fan masses will be bored to tears with various stories and articles about nothing in particular. So I figured why not kick it off early?
So while I was busy being a bored part of the fan mass, I browsed Twitter all day before work, and came across some curious findings, and I thought I'd share to entertain.
First and foremost, the Philadelphia Flyers. Not the actual @NHLFlyers, but the various twitter accounts related to it.
#1: Zac Rinaldo, Left Winger for the Flyers and apparently also named Kanye West. Maybe his middle name is North....
#2: Ilya Bryzgalov, infamous goalie and critic of the media.
Why you heff to be mad? Well, Bryz doesn't even have himself in a Flyers jersey. Like an angry child not talking to their parents to prove a point. So obviously, you heff to be mad.
#3: Bernie Parent, motivational speaker extraordinaire, and the best goalie the Flyers ever had. He's pretty great, follow him.
I mean, look at this. Tebow! He follows Tim Tebow and Kim Kardashian! Like, why? Doesn't matter. It just made him cooler.
Now, moving away from the Flyers. They may be the teenage girls of the NHL, but no need to pick on them. These next two were recommended to me by my wonderful editor, who thinks that finding funny things on twitter is his job. Regardless, these are worth the follow:
#4: Condescending Torts, a hilarious parody account of John Tortorella. His name changes every once in a while, now Riot Maker Torts. Subtly suggesting the rioting that will happen in Vancouver on his recent hire there.
#5: Chara's Ego, another hilarious parody account to follow the Big Guy through the Playoffs. Most notably extremely cocky and now a Red Sox fan. Easy follow for any Boston fan.
Well, so there ya go folks. Just make sure to not be too bored this off-season. Take up another sport, like... well, I guess all that's left is baseball. Ah, just give it a shot. It can be like hockey too. You know, really... I honestly don't even have a comparison. Just leave it on in the background while you play NHL 13 and sob.
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